CONVERSATIONS WITH THE DEAD
Written by: Chris Boucher
Cast in order of appearance:
Lara
Mike
Traffic controller
Inspector David Theroux
Commander Nathan Spring
'Box' (sort of hand-held computer with voice control)
Lee Jones
Chief Inspector Colin Devis
Sergeant Corman
Fox
Gina
Base Coordinator Paton
(MUSIC BEGINS) Justin Hayward: "It Won't Be Easy" (Star Cops Theme)
(SCENE: SPACE FREIGHTER Daedalus)
(Clicking Sound Starts)
Lara: Mike! (Clicking Sound Gets Faster)
Lara: Mike, wake up damn it!
Mike: What's the matter? (Engine Sound) Can't be my watch already.
Lara: Engines kicked in!
Mike: Don't be stupid! It's four days to the correction point!
Lara: They're running now! Can't you feel them?
Mike: Christ! Override them! OVERRIDE THEM!
Lara: I've tried! There's no response. (pause) I think we're dead, Mike.
(SCENE: EUROSTATION CHARLES DE GAULLE - TRAFFIC OFFICE)
Controller (via video phone): It looks like machine failure: either engine control or the main flight computer. They'll let us know if they find the fault.
Theroux: Who's Mike got with him?
Controller: Lara. Who else?
Theroux: They'll be missed.
Controller: Do you want the official frills and furbelows for your new boss?
Theroux: Oh hell no! Time enough for all that crap if we're called in for real.
(SCENE: QUARTERS OF COMMANDER NATHAN SPRING)
Male Announcer: This is WBC News on the hour. The continued refusal of the United States to allow inspection of its latest unmanned orbital station led all the major space powers to lodge formal protests in Geneva today. Speculations that the unmanned station is military and constitutes a treaty violation...
Spring: Screen off.
Male Announcer: ... has been fueled...
Theroux: Falling, right?
Spring: Yeah, only forever. (Theroux hands Spring a drink pack)
Spring: Ah, thanks. (Spring loses grip on the packet, and it floats away in zero-G environment. Spring sighs.)
Theroux: Some people get over it.
Spring: Some people! Think it's too late to get a refund on my ticket?
Theroux: I don't think you're ever gonna be able to afford to go back Earthside.
Spring: Come on now. You're not gonna fine me for that. I mean I was half asleep! Now play fair.
Theroux: Why not? I mean you can rely upon space to play fair. After all nothing's gonna kill you when you're half asleep.
Spring: All right now, don't be a smart ass, Inspector. I hate a smart ass first thing in the morning. Assuming that's what this is.
Theroux: Well, you've been asleep about 10 hours or so.
Spring: Yeah, well that's close enough. (Spring struggles to get out of his sleeping harness.)
Theroux: Need some help with that?
Spring: When I need help I will ask for it!
Theroux: Sorry.
Spring: Look, don't ever offer help to an embarrassed authority figure, David. It's a very fast way to get kicked. Well, at least it would be if I could get my bloody legs out of this stupid contraption!
Theroux: Ah, okay Nathan. What do you say I bring you some breakfast in the office, shall I? Supper maybe? Uh, screen, music. (Music Plays)
Spring: Groans.
(SCENE: TRAFFIC OFFICE)
Controller (via video phone): You're sure he's not gonna want the full treatment on Mike and Lara.
Theroux: (laughs) Trust me.
Controller: I'll keep your office informed then.
Theroux: Thanks.
Spring: Keep us informed of what? Get somebody to repair that sleeping harness, will you?
Theroux: Right. Breakfast?
Spring: (Groans) I'm not very hungry actually at the moment.
Theroux: Falling's easier with something in your stomach.
Spring: A sword, preferably. Do you know, I feel worse now than when I first got here?
Theroux: It could be your age.
Spring: Nausea is not a recognized symptom of midlife crisis. Other people's might make you sick, but not your own.
Theroux: That's not what I meant.
Spring: (Losing his balance and floating partially off his seat.) I know. I'm late flowering for a spaceman. Do you know I really have a natural aptitude for this, don't I? (pause) Keep us informed of what?
Theroux: Oh, uh. There's a two-man freighter gone rogue heading for the dark. The flight crew's 'dead.'
Spring: Well, how did that happen?
Theroux: Investigations are proceeding. Isn't that standard cop-speak for we're unlikely ever to know?
Spring: Well, what investigations? Who's doing these investigations?
Theroux: The flight crew, naturally.
Spring: You, you just said they were dead.
Theroux: Yeah, technically speaking, but not ... you know.
Spring: Inspector Theroux, it may have escaped your notice, but I am feeling a little below par. Now that tends to make me irritable. You add somebody playing silly bastards and I become homicidal.
Theroux: They've got limited life support and no fuel left to correct their course. They'll run out of air before they run out of space. That's standard crew-speak for they're dead, and everyone including them knows it.
Spring: Oh, I see.
Theroux: Do you?
Spring: I have things to learn.
Theroux: Yeah.
Spring: Then, don't we all? (pauses) Box.
Box: Yes, Nathan?
Spring: There must be something I can do about the way I'm feeling.
Box: Transfer to an environment which is blessed with gravity. It is unlikely you will ever fully adapt to prolonged weightlessness.
Spring: (laughs) Too true. (To Theroux) Any suggestions?
Box: It would appear there is ...
Spring: Shut up Box.
Theroux: It would appear there is an office on Moonbase you could use.
Spring: Well, I'll settle for any gravity I can get. (punches button) Control.
Controller: Yes, Commander. Welcome to Euro-Spacestation Charles ...
Spring: I need to visit Moonbase as soon as practical. Can you make the necessary arrangements?
Controller: I'll let you know when it's set up, Sir.
Spring: Thank you.
Theroux: It would be more expensive as a base, of course. You'd need a one-sixth rated launch ve ... (pauses, then laughs) Wait a minute. Box couldn't have put all that together from the question you asked.
Spring: Why not?
Theroux: It's a machine.
Spring: So?
Theroux: Are you telling me it was listening all the time: making assumptions and judgments and drawing conclusions? Well it's a clever little bastard, isn't it? (laughs) Takes a human being to do all that.
(SCENE: NATHAN SPRING'S APARTMENT - EARTHSIDE)
Video screen: There is a message. (pause) There is a message.
Jones: All messages for Nathan Spring are to be rerouted up to European Spacestation Charles De Gaulle. Or should that be 'out'? Anyway he's not on Earth anymore.
Video screen: There is a message.
Jones: Who is the message for?
Video screen: The message is for Lee Jones.
Jones: For me? Why here? I left no instructions for rerouting.
Video screen: For further information please enter your personal identification number.
Jones: C398LR9421
Video screen: Thank you, Lee Jones. The message is coded 'for your eyes only'.
Jones: For pity's sake!
Video Screen: It will be necessary for you to enter your personal code.
Jones: Jones, LJ, Systematics Z2
Video screen: And as a final safeguard, your confidential keyword must entered before the message can be delivered.
Jones: Nathan, if this is one of your practical jokes, you can find yourself a professional caretaker to keep an eye on this place. (enters code on keypad)
Video screen: In a very short while your message will be unscrambled and relayed to you.
Jones: Or to put it another way ... (screen says 'wait') But not too long, my love. Jokes are all about timing are they not?
Video screen: This service has been brought to you by Unicom, the secure communications link. Thank you for patronizing Unicom.
Jones: You're entirely welcome. And all the time I thought you were patronizing me. Imagine that. Just goes to show you how easy it is to misjudge the ordinary, warm-hearted multinational corporation. (turns back to screen and walks off humming)
Video screen: (text message) Lee Jones, your life is in danger. Remain where you are. On no account must you leave. (lights go out)
Jones: Oh no! What's happened now! LIGHTS! I don't believe this. Central Control, check lighting fault. (loud thump) RATS! LIGHTS, DAMN IT! (lift opens, someone emerges) Nathan? Nathan, is that you? Who is it?
Male Voice: (whispers) You didn't read the message.
Jones: Who are you?
Male Voice: (still whispering) You didn't read your message. "Lee Jones, your life is in danger. Remain where you are. On no account must you ...
Jones: What are you doing here? What are you doing here. Keep away from me. Keep away from me. (screams)
(SCENE: NATHAN SPRING'S APARTMENT, LATER)
Devis: Obviously that was intended to keep her sitting at the console so the killer would know precisely where she was, even in the dark.
Spring: Why is it obvious?
Corman: It's what the computer suggested.
Devis: Thank you Sergeant Corman. When I want your input I'll ask for it.
Corman: Sorry, Sir.
Devis: Try to remember you're new around here.
Corman: Sir.
Devis: And I'll try and do the same.
Spring: Did the computer also say why the message was left on the screen?
Devis: You tell us.
Spring: I didn't make that call.
Devis: Well, Unicom have charged it to your account.
Spring: I haven't got an account with Unicom.
Devis: Well, they'll be disappointed about that. Especially as they seem to have all your right numbers.
Corman: Well, one of his right numbers, Sir. The rest they issue themselves when they open the account.
Spring: As frames go, it's fairly crude.
Devis: As killings go it wasn't exactly neat. Why would anyone want to frame you, Spring?
Spring: Commander Spring! It is Commander Spring, Chief Inspector! You may not be bright, but you can at least be civil! (pauses) I'm sorry. That was neither bright nor civil, was it? I'm having a little trouble adjusting to gravity.
Devis: How long had you known Miss Jones?
Spring: (shrugs) Ten years.
Devis: Aren't you sure?
Spring: I can't remember ever not knowing her.
Corman: Sir.
Devis: (annoyed) What?
Corman: Forensic have finished...
Devis: And?
Corman: Don't you think maybe we should give him a little time to himself, Sir?
Devis: What, star temperament will you call that? (laughs) Commander Spring.
Spring: Yes?
Devis: I shall want to talk to you again.
Spring: Listen, I want to talk to you right now. There's something not right here.
Devis: You mean apart from the fact that your girlfriend's been murdered?
Spring: They left the message on the screen. The place was still in darkness with the light system override still in place for us to find. I cannot believe that such a careful plan was carried out so carelessly.
Devis: Yes well, you can safely leave us to worry about that.
Spring: Leave you to worry about that?
Devis: That's what I said.
Spring: Someone walks into my home and kills the only real friend I've ever had, and I should leave you to worry about that?
Devis: Unless you prefer a charge of obstructing justice.
Spring: I just want some cooperation, that's all.
Devis: So you can catch whoever did it? Listen, you can be a glory boy up there, but down here you're just another citizen. Be careful to remember that. This is my case.
Spring: I just want them caught, that's all.
Devis: They will be! All you've got to do is answer the rest of my questions, and then you can hop on the shuttle and go back to playing spacemen, and leave the detective work to real policemen.
Spring: Yes well, would you like to call up the computer from here? Save time? I mean, you'll want to know what the rest of your questions are, won't you?!?
(SCENE: MOONBASE - TRAFFIC OFFICE)
Theroux: You've run the full list? Asked all the questions?
Mike: Everything is faultless as far as we can tell. The good ship Daedalus is as sound now as the day she was commissioned.
Theroux: Just a glitch in the system then? A million to one shot?
Mike: Looks that way. Wouldn't you know? I never won a thing in my life before.
Lara: Oh, thanks a lot.
Mike: I didn't win you. I earned you.
Lara: What's my excuse?
Theroux: Mike, I don't know what to suggest. I'll ... I'll get back to you.
Mike: Don't leave it too long, David. We haven't decided whether to wait it out or not.
Gina: We hear what you're saying, Mike. All the decisions are yours and Lara's. This is Moonbase Listening out.
(On the Daedalus)
Mike: What do you think, Lara?
Lara: Let's not rush it, Mike. I don't think I'm gonna like being dead.
(SCENE: MOONBASE - TRAFFIC OFFICE)
Theroux: Let's hope they don't do anything sudden.
Paton: They will self-destruct, you think?
Fox: Well, their options are a bit limited, wouldn't you say?
Paton: I meant soon. Will they do it soon? (pauses) There should be some way to save them! If anyone needs me I will be in my office. (leaves)
Fox: As if anybody could possibly need him! Base Coordinator! The man's pathetic.
Theroux: He seems to be taking it quite badly.
Gina: The ship is carrying a lot of his most recent work.
Theroux: His field is ... ?
Gina: He's a biologist. His current research is in cryogenics.
Theroux: What, very low temperature stuff?
Fox: Well, look on the bright side. That's one part of the Daedalus's cargo that the Mars colony can manage without.
Theroux: Damn! I should have gotten Mike and Lara to check the cargo.
Fox: Why, for God's sake? Do you get a kick out of pestering the dead, or what?
Theroux: The accident has to be investigated.
Fox: Who says? Who says it has to be investigated?
Gina: Stop talking like a fool, Fox. It's standard operating procedure.
Fox: Well, it's a bit bloody late for that now, don't you think? Just let them go in peace, man.
Gina: With what could be a design fault in the ship? It's not policy to leave such things uninvestigated.
Fox: Oh, 'policy' my arse! You know as well as I do that the only design fault on that ship will not be investigated at all!
Theroux: Oh yeah, why's that?
Fox: I'm going for a break, Gina.
Theroux: You didn't answer my question.
Fox: Because the average Star Cop couldn't find his bum with both hands. (leaves)
Theroux: Was it something I said?
Gina: He and Mike were friends.
Theroux: That's it?
Gina: I don't know him well.
Theroux: He seemed to think you understood what he was talking about. "You know as well as I do." That's what he said.
Gina: Well, he was wrong.
Theroux: You sure?
Gina: Are you interrogating me, Inspector?
Theroux: Were Mike and Lara popular?
Gina: They were famous.
Theroux: That's not what I asked.
Gina: They were lovers. Lovers are popular at a distance. And distance is difficult in a place like this.
Theroux: Patch me through to Earth Central, will you?
Gina: Who do you want?
(SCENE: NATHAN SPRING'S APARTMENT)
Spring: A glitch in the system?
Theroux (via video phone): Standard engineer-speak for 'It could happen to anyone. Don't uncross your fingers.'
Spring: No. That's not good enough.
Theroux: I had a feeling you might say that.
Spring: What was unusual about the Daedalus?
Theroux: Standard General Electrics freighter. Nothing remarkable about it.
Spring: It kicked in the engines at an unprogrammed time. I would say that was moderately remarkable, wouldn't you?
Theroux: I'd say that was the Sod's Law of Technology: The more there is to go wrong, the more there is to go wrong.
Spring: Well, something fairly specific would have to go wrong to create that sort of effect, wouldn't you say?
Theroux: Well, blocked up washing facilities wouldn't do it, if that's what you mean.
Spring: A limited number of things would've caused it, all of which the crew have checked.
Theroux: Yeah.
Spring: Well, have they or haven't they?
Theroux: They say they have.
Spring: You don't trust their expertise?
Theroux: I don't trust their motivation. I mean hell, how reliable would your work be under such circumstances?
Spring: I'd want to know.
Theroux: Yeah, you're a cop.
Spring: So are you sooner or later. Well, there's no point in second-guessing the crew. If they say there's nothing to be found, there's nothing to be found.
Theroux: What do you want me to do?
Spring: I want you to find out everything there is to know about that ship. Who worked on it, when, what it was carrying, everything. Same goes for the crew. Something went wrong out there and I expect you to find it.
Theroux: Okay, Nathan. You're the man. But it would help me some if I knew what the question was.
Spring: You only have two alternatives. Rule out the accidental and what you're left with is the deliberate.
Theroux: What? Someone set out to kill them?
Spring: Eliminate the impossible and whatever you're left with, however improbable, must be the truth.
Theroux: Jeez, I wish I had a classical education.
Spring: I wish you had any kind of education. (pauses) How's the accommodation?
Theroux: Pretty much as I told you.
Spring: Fine. We'll take it. Star Cop HQ is now on the moon. Let everyone know, will you?
Theroux: Well, I'm gonna be busy. (pauses) How're things progressing with your case?
Spring: My case? Not my case. I have a feeling I'm being worked on though.
Theroux: You're bound to be a bit off balance.
Spring: Paranoid even?
Theroux: Hey, it's possible.
Spring: Well, they've assigned Devis as the investigating officer.
Theroux: Is that significant?
Spring: He's one of the department's all-time cretins. British native and all-comers record holder. A cretin's cretin in fact.
Theroux: Sounds like natural Star Cop material. You gonna recruit him?
Spring: I'm gonna dump you if you don't find the anomaly which explains the Daedalus case. (pauses) Keep in touch, David.
(screen off)
Spring: Box.
Box: Yes, Nathan.
Spring: Book my usual table at Lotus Garden.
Box: Should I confirm the time with Miss Jones?
Spring: Miss Jones is dead.
Box: Do you want me to adjust the reference framework and remove her?
Spring: No.
Box: Then that data is meaningless.
Spring; (strained exhalation) Has the police computer come up with a manageable list of suspects yet?
Box: Checking. (brief pause) There are one hundred names still on the list.
Spring: Front runner?
Box: Remains the same.
Spring: Odds?
Box: Possibility of error remains significant.
Spring: You let me know when there's someone worth lifting.
Box: Will you be eating alone?
(NATHAN AT LOTUS GARDEN RESTAURANT ALONE - REMEMBERING CONVERSATION WITH LEE)
Spring: I really thought you enjoyed this place. So much for instinct.
Jones: I was talking about professional instinct.
Spring: I didn't think there was a difference.
Jones: Are you saying it's just a policeman I've been sleeping with all these years?
Spring: You thought I'd bought the handcuffs specially?
Jones: Your timing's all to hell love.
Spring: Christ, I'm sorry Lee. I'm so sorry.
Corman: Am I disturbing you, Commander? It'll wait 'till you've finished. I can come back when you've finished.
Spring: (coming back to reality) How'd you know where to find me?
Corman: This was listed as a meeting place for you and Miss Jones.
Spring: Ah! Detective work.
Corman: That's what they pay me for.
Spring: That's what they pay your boss for. You get paid as a gofer.
Corman: I'm sorry, Sir. My mistake.
Spring: How many places did you try?
Corman: This is the first. It's a routine sort of a place. You'd want to remember routine things. If you wanted to remember anything at all.
Spring: We used to come here quite a lot. She hated it. Didn't find out 'till it was too late. What is it you want, Sergeant?
Corman: Advice. As you know, we've been processing a fairly comprehensive list of psychopaths.
Spring: Now, how would I know that?
Corman: You've been monitoring our computer.
Spring: Mm huh. Who says?
Corman: I do.
Spring: What exactly are you looking for?
Corman: I got the impression you thought the crime had an extra dimension. Something that was almost obvious, but not quite.
Spring: Yes, well it's ... it's hard to think clearly under those circumstances.
Corman: Well, I think you were right. There's no recognizable motive.
Spring: So you look for somebody without a recognizable motive.
Corman: A psycho? No psycho is that elaborate in his preparations.
Spring: Are you serious? I've known some who were positively theatrical.
Corman: If all they were going to do was kill? (pauses) I'm sorry, but that's all he did. He came fast and efficiently and he left.
Spring: Yes, well no professional would leave all those loose ends. Not unless he was interrupted or ...
Corman: But he wasn't interrupted.
Spring: So.
Corman: So, you're back to the psycho. I was hoping you'd have some new suggestions.
Spring: Does Devis know you're here?
Corman: I don't think it would strike the Chief Inspector as a very good idea.
Spring: You're right.
Corman: Well, there has to be a first time for everything.
Spring: It's getting late, Sergeant.
Corman: And I've overstepped the mark haven't I? But I'm good and sick of being told what to do by people who are more stupid and less talented than I am.
Spring: You'd be surprised how many people feel that way.
Corman: I wouldn't be remotely surprised. Don't patronize me, Commander. Get me fired, by all means, but don't patronize me.
Spring: Well, as your Chief Inspector so politely pointed out, I'm outside my jurisdiction. I couldn't get your fired even if I wanted to. And if you're as shit hot as you think you are, you'll have already worked that out.
Corman: I'm not that calculating.
Spring: Then you're not that good.
(SCENE: MOONBASE - NEW STAR COP OFFICE)
Fox: Ah, nothing but the best for you lads, eh?
Theroux: We've got a good union.
Fox: Makes you wonder why anyone would volunteer to be a cop.
Theroux: As I remember, no one on Moonbase did.
Fox: Yes, a high IQ was one of the entry requirements - for Moonbase, that is.
Theroux: Yeah, well the test always was unreliable.
Fox: Well, what was it you wanted to see me about?
Theroux: I quote, "The only design fault on that ship won't be investigated at all," unquote.
Fox: Liars and policemen need good memories, right?
Theroux: What did you mean by it?
Fox: Now, you know the Mars colony will never be economic. What ... What do they do with all this stuff? What's your interest in what the Daedalus was carrying?
Theroux: I'm looking for anomalies.
Fox: Anomalies?
Theroux: Mmm. It's where you find your bum with one hand but not the other, so you know something's wrong.
Fox: Sounds half-arse to me.
Theroux: You didn't answer the question.
Fox: Oh, what question was that?
Theroux: Stop jerking me around and answer the damn question.
Fox: Or you'll what?
Theroux: Or I'll arrest you, charge you with a whole series of technical offenses, and have you shipped back to Earth for trial.
Fox: Are you threatening me?
Theroux: Oh yes.
Fox: Yes, well we'll see about that.
Theroux: Fox, if you're charged with anything - anything at all out here - you're career is over. You do realize that I suppose.
Fox: Like hell I do. The police-state bullyboys haven't taken over yet. Not out here they haven't.
Theroux: No, but the branch office is open for business.
Fox: Oh, you find that funny?
Theroux: I'm conducting a murder investigation.
Fox: You're not serious.
Theroux: Just tell me what you meant.
Fox: A murder investigation?
Theroux: What is it that you know about the design fault on the Daedalus.
Fox: I was talking about the crew roster, that's all.
Theroux: The crew roster?
Fox: Yeah. Those two should never have been allowed to fly together. It's against operational procedures, against the rules, and it's dumb. Handling a freighter is dangerous work. Hell, all work out here is dangerous. You know that. And you can't afford distractions.
Theroux: They been flying together for some time?
Fox: Oh yes. And everybody was doing numbers about how romantic it is.
Theroux: Everybody except you.
Fox: Well, I don't find taking stupid risks very romantic. You know that some bloody people actually helped them to juggle the roster.
Theroux: Well, why didn't you stop them? You could have blown the whistle on them. Why didn't you?
Fox: Ah, Mike was a friend of mine.
Theroux: All the more reason.
Fox: Well, I suppose I didn't want people to think that I was being ...
Theroux: Jealous?
Fox: Well Christ, Mike was careless at the best of times, but with her as a distraction, well, sooner or later he was bound to foul something up.
Theroux: And that's what you meant?
Fox: Well, I reckoned the people who screwed around with the crew planning had caused the design fault. Mix the personal with the professional what you get are mistakes. People are part of the design. It's dangerous to forget that.
(SCENE: NATHAN SPRING'S APARTMENT, EARTHSIDE)
Male Announcer: ...stated quite categorically that thought the unmanned station is a civilian project, it is nonetheless of the utmost secrecy and any attempt to penetrate its security screens would be regarded as an act of war.
Spring: (laughs) Well, what could be more 'civilian' than that?
Male Announcer: The European Space Colonization Bureau tonight denied rumors that their Martian colony will run dangerously short of vital stores as a result of the tragic accident to the supply ship Daedalus. (Message flashes on wall screen)
Spring: News off. (punches buttons)
Message: Lee Jones has been dealt with. You're next. YOU'RE NEXT! (flashes)
Spring: Box trace.
Box: Processing...
Spring: Well?
Box: It was on a delayed relay.
Spring: How long?
Box: The message was registered one hour ago in a public access booth.
Spring: Who's it charged to?
Box: You.
Spring: Bastard! (Lights go out)
Spring: Box.
Box: Yes, Nathan?
Spring: Check central power circuits.
Box: A remote breaker has been installed.
Spring: Another one?
Box: Only the screen and the lift remain operational. The lift is on its way up. (Spring waits outside lift with gun in hand. Lift is empty.)
(Chime) (Video-Phone call waiting.)
Spring: Box, trace.
Box: Tracing.
Spring: Accept call.
Male Voice, whispering: Commander Spring.
Spring: Yes?
Male Voice: I have information which I think will interest you.
Spring: I'm not getting vision at this end.
Male Voice: I prefer to remain unseen for the moment.
Spring: What is it you have to tell me.
Male Voice: I know who killed your lady.
Spring: Really?
Male Voice: I will wait for you at the east end of Chisic Park.
Spring: The East End at this time of night?
Male Voice: Are you afraid?
Spring: Of course. My mother didn't have any stupid children.
Male Voice: You have fifteen minutes.
Spring: What'd you get box?
Box: Public access booth. Local. Call was charged to Clarnom Electronics.
Spring: I want any nonstandard information on that firm and its staff. You start with the police intelligence data bank.
Box: Processing.
(SCENE: STARCOPS OFFICE, MOONBASE)
Male Announcer: ...conference of space powers at Geneva, the United States has remained stubbornly silent on the purpose of its latest unmanned station. A state department spokesman simply repeated tonight the earlier statement that the facility is civilian...
Theroux: It'd be interesting to know what they're hiding.
Male Announcer: ...and any unauthorized attempt to approach the unmanned station...
Paton: Dangerous to try to find out, clearly.
Male Announcer: ...would have the gravest possible consequences.
Theroux: Close screen
Male Announcer: Suggestions...
Theroux: Well, my countrymen have always been more secretive and trigger-happy than they realize themselves.
Paton: I'm sorry to disturb you at this late hour. I was looking for someone to talk to.
Theroux: Of course, please. Excuse me, won't you sit down, Sir. It's been a long day.
Paton: Thank you. Your uh (clears throat) your scientific background is as a flight engineer, I think, yes?
Theroux: That's what I was. Coffee?
Paton: Uh, Merci, No. I am a biologist.
Theroux: Yeah, working at suspended animation at ultra-low temperatures, right?
Paton: It is not possible now to reverse the course of the Daedalus. I know that. But if it were only possible to divert it even just a little.
Theroux: Divert it? Divert it where?
Paton: Back into our system to allow the eventual recovery of the ship, after many years perhaps...
Theroux: For what? The crew would be dead long ago.
Paton: No, no. Not necessarily. They could go into frozen hibernation using my equipment.
Theroux: What? You mean the stuff you've got on that ship is ready to work? I thought it was experimental.
Paton: Well, it's academic anyway. To... to change course you need a source of propulsion, and they have none.
Theroux: They might have one. The controlled release of air pressure within the ship. Blowing it out could alter their course. And if they don't need the air to breathe...
(SCENE: AT A PARK AT NIGHT. SKATER PASSES BY, THEN CHALLENGES SPRING)
Spring: Yes? (Skater makes some rude gesture or other)
Spring: Oh, you freak! Get out of here. (Skater goes away, then comes back.)
Spring: Listen, you freak! I have told you. You get out of here, or I'll run you in! I'm a cop! (Skater punches Spring)
Spring: Ohhhhhhhh! (Skater beats Spring to the ground)
Spring: Who's there? Is anybody there? Oh Christ! I feel sick.
Male Voice, whispering: Sorry about that, Commander. I didn't bring you here for someone else to kill you.(Spring grabs for his gun.)
Male Voice: Don't bother. You've already demonstrated your expertise with our friend there.
Spring: We all have our off days.
Male Voice: Even on my worse day, an Urban Apache would be no more than a casual irritant.
Spring: You killed him?
Male Voice: Yes.
Spring: Speak softly and carry a big stick, huh?
Male Voice: You're next. Yes, that's right. Even you must've worked out it was me killed your lady. (sound of running feet)
Corman: Police! (fires gun)
Spring: (ducks) What are you shooting at!
Corman: A figure. I saw a figure.
Spring: That was me! You're probably shooting at me! (stands up and fires gun at retreating figure) You scum! (breathes heavily) What are you doing here?
Corman: I was following you.
Spring: Uhh! (falls to his knees) I want this whole area taped off. Category A and Forensic. The whole lot. Double-damn quick.
(SCENE: MOONBASE TRAFFIC OFFICE)
Gina: We have finished the simulations. The explosive release of air will alter the ships trajectory sufficiently, providing it is done within the next twelve hours.
Theroux: That's the margin for error?
Gina: Yes.
Theroux: Lucky the professor didn't wait any longer to suggest it.
Gina: Luck favors the prepared, they say.
Theroux: I hope not, because so far we haven't been. (Paton walks in)
Fox: Ah, congratulations professor Paton. Those freezing chambers of yours could've been designed for the Daedalus.
Paton: Well, the setup will not be ideal, of course. They were intended primarily for use in larger ships.
Fox: Yes, but I'm just glad the things happened to be there at all.
Paton: Ultimately to freeze a crew - to put them into suspended animation - is the dream of all deep-space exploration.
Gina: If it works.
Paton: Yes, it is a melancholy way to test my system.
Fox: Well, cheer up, man. At least they've got a chance now.
Gina: And there's a place in history waiting for the man who is successful in this field.
(SCENE: OUTSIDE VIEW OF DAEDALUS)
Mike: Moonbase Moonbase, this is Daedalus. All right, David. It's all done. They look like coffins.
Lara: Oh, and David, you might suggest to professor Paton that he give some thought to a double capsule. These things look awful lonely.
Mike: We're ready when you are Mr. DeMille.
Lara: I'm scared, Mike.
Mike: So am I. Suppose we wake up in five years time to frost-bitten extremities.
Lara: (laughs) I'll still love you. Even if your nose does drop off.
Mike: The way my lucks running, it won't be my nose that drops off.
(SCENE: NATHAN SPRING'S APARTMENT)
Spring: (groaning)
Devis: You stupid bastard.
Spring: Yeah, well it wasn't very bright, I'll allow.
Devis: Bright? All I need to make this a perfect case is for you to get yourself killed as well.
Spring: Oh, so then you'd have two, three unsolved murders. So?
Devis: You're not counting that Urban Apache, are you? The more of those little scumbags kill each other off, the better.
Spring: He was killed by the same man who killed Lee.
Devis: You think so?
Spring: Forensic will prove it.
Devis: It's been called off.
Spring: Called off?
Devis: Star Cops might have unlimited budgets, but we don't.
Spring: What are you talking about?
Devis: Wasting Category A resources on the sort of killing that happens every night.
Spring: Wh.... a...a...a.... Are you doing this deliberately, Devis?
Devis: Well, the computer gave it a Double F. Who can argue with that?
Spring: I can! I'll lay odds he was killed by the same man and the same weapon who killed Lee.
Devis: Oh, difficult things, probabilities. That's why we have computers.
Spring: Yeah, well it might just have been the breakthrough you still seem to need.
Devis: Whoa-ho! With one mighty bound, right? You get a crank call.
Spring: Crank call! What crank call!
Devis: Oh, whatever! You rush off to get seven shades of shit kicked out of you, and the case is solved! Oh, that's real talent, Commander! I can see where such a high-flyer...
Spring: Devis! (pauses and collects himself) Do you want a drink?
Devis: Yeah. (Spring gets drinks)
Spring: He claimed to have done it.
Devis: Well ask yourself. Is it likely?
Spring: I don't know. I'm missing something.
Devis: Well, you lost a friend.
Spring: Someone's playing games with me.
Devis: And a draw is the best you can hope for.
Spring: You need me for anything else tonight?
Devis: Not really.
Spring: Then you won't mind if I get back (stands up and groans) get back to my high flying then, will you?
Devis: That's what I'd do in your place.
Spring: Leave the groundwork to you, eh?
Devis: Yeah, you're not as stupid as you look, Commander.
Spring: Well, I wish I could say the same for you Chief Inspector. (groans)
(SCENE: MOONBASE TRAFFIC CENTER)
Theroux: Well, obviously the computer wouldn't open the airlock itself. I mean, it couldn't be programmed to cause a deliberate disaster. So, what they did was rig a charge and prime the computer to set off. (sounds of Daedalus timer, and then airlock being blown out)
Theroux: That's the airlock failure warning. And that's pretty much all we heard. Tracking confirmed the ship is on the predicted course. All we don't know is whether Mike and Lara survived.
Spring: Are they successfully preserved human beings, or simply deep frozen corpses.
Theroux: We get to know that in eight years or so.
Spring: Hmm. Still, well done. Mind you eight years is one hell of a long time to wait before we know what the charge should be.
Theroux: Yeah, that's how come I almost missed it. I was looking for the wrong crime.
Spring: You had the right crime. Just looking for the wrong motive, that's all. (pauses) Damn!
Theroux: I did miss something?
Spring: No, I did. I have been deliberately kept off balance. Deliberately kept away from the real motive. That, that must be the key to Lee's death, it must be!
Theroux: What? What must be?
Spring: It's all that's left. It...it's... it's as if I've been programmed to ...
Theroux: Coordinator. (Paton walks in)
Spring: Good evening, Sir. Thank you for coming. I've just been hearing about your giant leap for spaceman kind. Congratulations.
Paton: Thank you indeed, Commander, but I did very little.
Spring: Oh, you're too modest. Tell me, when did the idea first occur to you?
Paton: Oh, uh, at the eleventh hour, as you would say.
Spring: No, I don't think I would say. Please, sit down Messier Paton.
Paton: Thank you, I think better on my feet.
Spring: Sit down!
Paton: I was told there was something you wished me to see. As base coordinator I assume ...
Spring: As a biologist, I assume that you must be aware of the Brussels's Accord on Animal and Human Experimentation.
Theroux: And the regulations arising.
Paton: Of course.
Theroux: Under which you were refused a license for human experimentation.
Paton: This was not an experiment!
Spring: The crew of the Daedalus would be glad to hear that.
Paton: It was an emergency. It was their only chance!
Spring: So it was. I repeat. When did the idea first occur to you?
Theroux: That ship didn't go rogue. Someone reprogrammed the computer to make the engines fire when they did.
Spring: And that someone had to have enough authority to have absolutely unquestioned access to the ship and to the computer putting together the cargo manifest.
Paton: This is ridiculous!
Spring: As ridiculous as sending experimental cryogenic equipment to Mars Colony?
Theroux: Not really essential stores?
Paton: I was planning to go there when my tour here is over.
Theroux: Perhaps you should've told them that.
Spring: They're not expecting you. Or your equipment.
Paton: (nervous laugh) Computer failure.
Spring: Poor planning, Professor.
Theroux: Almost as poor as having to wait for someone else to come up with the idea for the rescue. Must've been pretty sweaty when you found out you had to prompt one of us. Picking a cop was clever, though.
Paton: Even if what you say were true, and it is not, no one has been hurt.
Theroux: No one has been hurt?!
Spring: If the crew of the Daedalus are dead, you'll be charged with murder. If they survive, they will most probably bring civil suit against you, and I shall most definitely prefer other criminal charges.
Paton: You can prove none of this! None of it!
Spring: We'll prove it.
Paton: I warn you, Commander. I'm a man of influence, and if you pursue this or speak to anyone of your ridiculous ideas, your career here is over, you understand?!
Spring: Perfectly. Oh, by the way, Sir. It would save a lot of unpleasantness if you inform us of any journeys you intend making (pauses) in the next eight years or so. (Paton leaves)
Spring: Eight years!
Theroux: Well, it's like the prizefighters used to say, "He can run, but he can't hide." (chime)
Theroux: (answers call) Star Cops.
Female Voice: Duty controller on the Charles De Gaulle.
Spring: What can we do for you?
Duty Controller (Female Voice): We ... have a situation here, Commander.
Spring: Situation?
Duty Controller: We seem to have an unauthorized person in the Star Cop office here. Won't come out. Won't identify themselves...
(SCENE: EUROSTATION CHARLES DE GAULLE - STAR COP OFFICE)
Spring: Corman? What the hell are you doing here?
Corman: Still following you, I'm afraid, Sir. We've identified the killer. He came here.
Theroux: What? To this station? Why?
Corman: Looking for you, I think. (referring to Spring)
Spring: Who is he? What's his name?
Corman: John Smith.
Theroux: Oh, that's original.
Corman: It's his real name, apparently.
Spring: What the hell has he got against me?
Corman: He was a construction engineer working on some project out here.
Theroux: What? He's one of our people?
Corman: He's not a Star Cop, no.
Theroux: No, I mean he was a high-frontier.
Corman: Oh yes, he was. Until a Moonbase Star Cop busted him.
Theroux: And when was this?
Corman: A while ago. As far as we can find out, he was charged with some sort of misdemeanor and that was the end of his career out here, even though he was ultimately acquitted.
Theroux: So he blames the Star Cops.
Spring: And decides to revenge himself on me.
Corman: That's what it looks like. (chime)
Corman: Look, I'm sorry to have been so melodramatic, but I wanted to keep all this confidential.
Theroux: Why?
Corman: Isn't it obvious?
Theroux: No it isn't. Not to me.
Duty Controller: Commander Spring. There's a (something) shuttle heading out of the dock.
Corman: That's our man!
Duty Controller: It's unauthorized, unscheduled, and refuses to acknowledge signals.
Spring: Well, keep trying. David, you take the Sergeant and get a shuttle ready for us quickly.
Theroux: Now look you carry on, slow and easy, huh? I'll be right with you. (Corman leaves) I think she's lying, Nathan. There were never any Moonbase Star Cops.
Spring: Get the shuttle, David. (to radio) Control.
Duty Controller: Yes, Commander. It's no good, I can't raise him.
Spring: We're going after him.
Duty Controller: Ooh, real cops and robbers stuff, eh?
Spring: Yes, we're an old-fashioned outfit at heart. Listen, I've a good idea where he might be going. Are you still tracking him?
Duty Controller: Of course.
Spring: I need a favor of you.
Duty Controller: If I can.
SCENE: INSIDE THE SHUTTLE WITH SPRING, THEROUX , AND CORMAN
Corman: How long before we see him?
Theroux: Depends how good your eyes are.
Corman: Ask a silly question.
Spring: We're losing him. Sacrifice our safety margin. Get within clear sight of him, quickly.
Theroux: It's risky.
Spring: Well, not as risky as what he's trying to do. Wouldn't you say, Sergeant?
Corman: I might, Sir, if I knew what that was.
Theroux: First burn in three, two, one. Firing. Second burn in three, two, one. Firing.
Corman: There he is!
Spring: Yes! And just look where he is heading!
Theroux: Jesus Christ! It's that American station! Why in God's name is he headed for that?
Corman: What does it matter, we've got him.
Spring: Hit the buttons, David.
Theroux: Don't have to ask me twice.
Spring: This is as close as we go.
Corman: You're gonna let him go after all he's done to you?
Spring: That's the point of all this, isn't it? After all he's done to me.
Theroux: You okay, Nathan?
Spring: That's the reason for it. He goes to ground on that unmanned station, and he can be absolutely certain the Star Cops are gonna go in there after him.
Theroux: Yeah, and the American's do what?
Spring: Nothing. Nothing! What the hell can they do? We're the police. Politically neutral with a completely legitimate reason for going in there after him. The Americans can protest 'til they're blue in the face, but that's all. I'm right, aren't I, Corman? You had to make me crazy, didn't you? You speak to me, Corman!
Theroux: Nathan, would you like to tell me what the hell is going on here?
Spring: Don't you see? It's top secret. Nobody knows what the hell it's for! We go in there. We bring him out. He brings out everything he has learned about that station.
Corman: When did you spot it?
Spring: One of the calls you made to me was charged to Clowman Electronics.
Corman: That is a cover organization for the Russians.
Spring: That's what Box said. But he's just a sort of computer, isn't he?
Corman: You didn't bite?
Spring: Anything went wrong, they could be blamed. But that bastard isn't a Russian, is he. He's one of us!
Theroux: Who the hell is 'us?'
Spring: British.
Theroux: What? He's a British spy?
Spring: Yes. Just like her.
Corman: Well, not quite like me. I outrank him.
Spring: And us, I imagine.
Corman: Oh, you had better believe it! Now, if you please, gentlemen. Let's go and arrest our murderous psychopath.
Spring: Do as she says.
Theroux: No way!
Spring: Do it! (Theroux complies)
Corman: This was all his idea. He is clever, even if he did get a bit carried away that night in the park. He was always after excitement.
Spring: He's got a treat in store, then. (AMERICAN SPACE STATION BLOWS MURDERER'S SHUTTLE UP)
Theroux: Oh, Jesus!
Corman: They didn't even hesitate!
Spring: Well, why the hell should they? They were dealing with a dangerous psychopath, weren't they, Corman?
Corman: They didn't know that.
Spring: Yes, they did. I told them. I sent a message by the duty controller asking the Americans to stop him at all costs on our behalf.
Corman: Do you know what you've done?
Spring (very angry): Yes! I know exactly what I have done! (pauses) I've just had a man executed, against all my principles and my beliefs. Do you know, I've killed three men? Three since I started this job?
Corman: Look, we need to know about that station.
Spring: Now, don't you push me, Corman!
Corman: That's why your girlfriend had to die.
Spring: You're life if hanging by a thread!
Corman: We need to know!
Spring: I could kill you with my BARE HANDS!
Theroux: NATHAN!
Corman: Is that your principles?
Spring: Take us home, David.
Theroux: You could order me to do it, Nathan. I haven't got any principles.
(SCENE: CEMETERY- EARTHSIDE)
Devis: Do you normally visit cemeteries at night? This place must've cost you a bomb.
Spring: What are you doing here, Devis?
Devis: Looking for you. I wanted to apologize, for that bitch Corman. For not knowing about her.
Spring: Well, I didn't spot her either.
Devis: I was a fortnight late and a quid short. Oh, that's why they put me on it. Because I'm thick.
Spring: I don't understand. I don't understand how they could sacrifice Lee just to put pressure on me.
Devis: Oh, don't ask me to how their minds work. Well, I'm bringing charges against 'em anyway. Accessory before and after, conspiracy, anything I can take into court.
Spring: Think you'll get a conviction?
Devis: Oh. I don't know. But I'll embarrass the hell out of her, and her masters. Shine a little light on 'em.
Spring: That's gonna cost you your job.
Devis: Yeah, I know. I was thinking of asking you for one. (pauses) Well, why were you visiting her grave at this time of night?
Spring: I thought maybe you could see the stars. I don't know. It seemed an appropriate way to say goodbye.
Devis: It's a bit sentimental for my taste.
Spring: Well, I'm old-fashioned at heart. Still, that's going to change.
Devis: Last time I looked up at the stars something nasty dropped in my eye. I think it was bat shit.
(ENDING MUSIC)
Posted for reference purposes. Many thanks to Cinderz for kindly giving permission for the use of her transcription.
Copyright of Star Cops and all its associated plots, scripts, etc. are all the property of the BBC and/or Chris Boucher. No copyright infringement intended.